“I don’t want to live in a country where people share umbrellas.”

Larry David turns the Declaration of Independence into a list of petty grievances in new miniseries premiere

“I don't want to live in a country where people share umbrellas."

By Mike Miller

Mike Miller

Mike Miller is the executive editor on the movies team at . He previously worked as a writer-reporter for PEOPLE and TMZ.

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June 27, 2026 9:00 a.m. ET

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Larry David in 'Life, Larry, and the Pursuit of Unhappiness'. Credit:

John Johnson/HBO

- Larry David is inserting himself into iconic American moments in his new miniseries, *Life, Larry, and the Pursuit of Unhappiness.*

- In the first episode, he plays a Founding Father who writes the first draft of the Declaration of Independence, before Thomas Jefferson.

- Instead of focusing on the colonies' grievances against the British, David's list amounts to a list of petty grievances.

Larry David is declaring independence from minor inconveniences.

The *Curb Your Enthusiasm *star is inserting himself into some of America’s most iconic moments in his new miniseries *Life, Larry, and the Pursuit of Unhappiness* — and in the premiere episode, he’s taking a first stab at one of America's foundational texts.

In the opening sketch, David plays Robert Livingston, one of the five men appointed to draft the document outlining the colonies' case for separating from the British crown. Written mostly by Thomas Jefferson, the Declaration listed 27 grievances against King George III.

But on the show, a congressman played by Henry Winkler announces that Livingston has taken the liberty of writing a first draft.

“Really didn't take me that long,” David as Livingston boasts. “Only used two quills. Two quills!”

"We are in gratitude,” Winkler replies. “But we agreed that we would only have 27 grievances. Then all of a sudden, you add all of these other grievances.”

“Agreed,” says Jefferson, played by Alan Tudyk. “There are several, and they are beyond perplexing.”

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“Mr. Jefferson, I don't think that we want to limit Rembrandt on how many colors he can use when he paints, do we?” retorts Livingston.

The Congress proceeds to go over some of those “perplexing” additions:

- If someone invites you to a dinner party, you are legally within your rights as an American citizen to ask who is coming to that dinner party before you accept. (“Don't you want to know who you're going to be spending your evening sitting next to?”)

- It is illegal to share an umbrella. (“Don't get somebody else wet because you are too stupid to bring your own.”)

- After Jan. 7, it is illegal to wish anyone a happy New Year.

- It is illegal to take deep breaths outside.

- No sharing desserts. (“We're not animals...all eating out of a trough.”)

- If you pick a line, you have to stay in it. (“Otherwise, it's just chaos.”)

- Men shall refrain from fanning themselves in public. (“Does anybody really want to see this?”)

- It's illegal to tell someone about your dream. (“No matter how interesting it may seem to the dreamer, the others have no interest in hearing about it.")

- There should be a national ban on toasting.

- No gratuities.

- If you begin a new health routine, keep it to yourself.

- If you visit England, don't suddenly return with an English accent.

- It is illegal to stroke one's beard.

- No clapping along to the music and expecting others to join in.

Livingston’s colleagues are not amused. “Here's the truth I hold to be self-evident: You, sir, are an imbecile,” says a founding father played by Chris Parnell.

“This is not just a declaration of independence,” Livingston argues. “This is a declaration of common sense. In 250 years, our descendants will thank us for the great work that we've done here, making their lives immeasurably better. Gentlemen, are you with me? Yay or nay?”

Larry David and Barack Obama.

Courtesy of Art Streiber/HBO

“Nay,” they answer in unison, with Parnell adding for emphasis, “A thousand times nay.”

Winkler then asks Jefferson to take over the declaration duties and then marshals to escort Livingston out of the room.

“That won't be necessary,” he fires back. “I don't want to live in a country where people share umbrellas, take deep breaths outside, change lines willy-nilly, fan themselves, stroke their beards, share dreams and desserts. Happy New Year, a--holes.”

*Life, Larry, and the Pursuit of Unhappiness, *which is executive-produced by Barack and Michelle Obama, debuted Friday at 9:00 pm. New episodes air weekly leading up to the season finale on Aug. 7.

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